The “Gas Man” Never Leased Natural Gas
New anti natural gas video, “Gas Man,” offers a humorous look at natural gas leasing, but misses the mark completely on accuracy of the process for landowners.
We were recently sent this letter from a supporter formerly associated with one of the several trade associations supporting natural gas who wishes to remain anonymous. It’s about a new video circulating where a folk singer attempts to describe the process of leasing for natural gas development on one’s property. According to the writer, the video is humorous, sure, but when it comes to accuracy it couldn’t be further from the truth.
When I was a kid, the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons were my favorite. The sight gags were a hoot and even then, I loved the sophisticated humor and wordplay. Full disclosure: I was an adult well into my 30s when I learned that “Boris Godunov” was a real person. But we digress. The feature that I enjoyed most were the “Fractured Fairy Tales,” you know, the twisted take on a time honored children’s story that was a little sarcastic, a little silly, and just a wee bit warped.
I thought about that when I first saw the “Gas Man” video on YouTube. Seriously, this couldn’t be real, could it?
Truly, every opposition cliche was represented here, in just under 5-minutes running time. With the singer lip-syncing her heart out on a sound stage with a waterfall supered in behind her, the lyrics (in internal rhyme), tell us that the “gas man is no friend of mine and will sicken our cattle with chemical brine, all the jobs go to the guys from out of town, our rents go up when the deal goes down,” well, you get the picture.
All the time, said Gas Man is silently walking the countryside, in his vintage Elvis Costello dark suit and a two-big-for-his-head fedora. Interspersed with some interpretive dancing in the fields, at one point we see a truck pull around a distance in the corner. Could it be the vehicle is a hybrid (wait, 47% of our electricity is produced by natural gas. This must be a solar powered pick up).
And then, at 1:40, who’s that? Why it’s Binghamton Mayor Matt Ryan, making a cameo appearance…to the lyrics “politicians taking cash.” Really? Much in the way actress Courtney Cox was plucked from the crowd in Bruce Springsteen’s “Dancing In the Dark” video, perhaps Mayor Ryan is looking to launch a new career in music videos?
“Gas Man” featuring Mayor Matt Ryan.
The video continues to parody what the songwriter thinks is the lease holder experience, even showing a “party” thrown by the gas man at the 2:10 mark. A finer basement rec room you’ve never seen.
Far be it from me to cast aspersions on the singers, songwriters, and dancer in this piece. Heck, I even think the horses in the pasture scene were super cute. But the lyrics don’t tell a real story. Spreading misinformation through music and dance is just about as meaningful and socially conscionable as Yoko Ono’s most recent piece of performance art (insert that ‘scream ‘ video here.)
Seriously, in a society that puts a high value on cultural inspiration, this new twist on Americana folk music is disturbing to me. Time honored folk music that won their place in our hearts and minds, like “Blowin’ in the Wind,” or ”This Land is Your Land” send powerful messages that resonate years later. They endure. Stuff like Gas Man, even with the pervasive internet and YouTube to give it credence, have little relevance.
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I went to West Middle School with all 3 of the Burns sisters. There dad was a mayor in Binghamton late sixties early seventies if I remember right. They lived in a nice brick home on Leroy Street and their older brother owns Burns Reality in Binghamton. Man do I remember the parties…. Probably one of the few who can remember the parties cause I wasn’t into the drugs then or now. Marie Burns featured in the Video has always been talented and desirable to look at, a very pretty redhead. When she moved to Ithaca I followed her music career as she really has a beautiful voice but seeing this video has sickened me. She bought into the fear mongers story but yet I don’t think she believes it. I think she is just singing and cutting cd’s to sell to the crowd because there would be a good market in Ithaca for this type of BS lyric put to song. She is just another NYker making money off the drilling and what easier way to make money then singing anti drilling songs in Ithaca.
What a creepy song!
Geez… Normally when I see a piece of drivel like this, I’d recommend that the players not quit their day jobs, but in this case I’d make an exception for Mr. Ryan!
How pathetic is Mayor Ryan, appearing in a piece of garage, poorly made music video?
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Breaking News:
On Friday, the White House revealed that intelligence sources have confirmed that Iran has achieved nuclear weapons capability, years earlier than originally anticipated. According to White House spokesperson Jay Carney, Iran fast-tracked their nuclear weapons program after obtaining a gallon jug of brown well water from Craig and Julie Sautner, formerly of Carter Road, Dimock Township, Pennsylvania. Apparently, the Sautner’s well water contained weapons-grade uranium after Cabot Oil and Gas frac’ed a near-by natural gas well, thus allowing Iran to completely skip over the uranium enrichment process.
Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad went on the record, saying “who needs yellowcake when Sautner brown jug well water is easily obtainable!” The Sautner’s were unavailable for comment, as they were busy preparing for an upcoming campaign and fashioning several ‘Make Talisman Pay’ yard signs.
Meanwhile, back in Susquehanna County, Pennsylvania, local resident Vera Scroggins reports having seen Libyan nationals near the Sautner’s former Dimock Township residence while giving her infamous ‘GasLand’ tours of the area. Scroggins’, attempting to self-promote her tour said “no trip to Pennsylvania is complete without a stop at Manning Geyser in Franklin Forks – the only water well in the country more reliable than Old Faithful!” However, a spokesperson from Flotec, the makers of the Manning’s submersible well pump, warned potential tour takers “the Manning well pump was never intended to be used in such a fashion,” and that Flotech was no longer covering the pump under the limited warranty due to “a non-conforming use of the product.”
In other news, Yoko Ono, known for her marriage to former Beatle John Lennon, is still trying to figure out exactly where she went on a recent bus tour of Pennsylvania. Ono, highly confused as usual, stated “I truly brought my love for everything as we were told that the bus was going to the beautiful Mount Airy Lodge, and I was really looking forward to a weekend of shag carpet, mirror paneled walls and ceilings, and heart-shaped bathtubs – instead they took us to a junkyard.” Upon hearing this statement, Mount Airy Casino Resort proprietor Louis DeNaples closed his eyes, shook his head in disgust, and declined to comment.
Finally, Irish investigative journalist and documentary film-maker Phelim McAleer spent the day looking for his hat. Unable to locate his hat, McAleer told this reporter that he suspects actress Susan Sarandon of foul play.
I heard on the radio while driving today that Matt Ryan appeared in a video about anti fracking. His part was a politician taking money from a gas man on the court house steps.
I knew if it was on the radio it was old news . I went to Eid to see what the scoop was.
This image of him is strange, a politician using the peoples time and taxpayers property without proper permits to endorse a statement is criminal.
Ryan taking the money in this action is fact. He is taking money from the activists.
He is a paid for shill caught on film. Its ok though hes a low end politician and its expected today.
All mayors that have been called out on the carpet must be sending him fan mail for topping anything stupid they did.
By the was did he ever get that sewage treatment plant under control? You know where the sewage is spewing into the water they treat for Binghamton residents?
can you say S O C I A L I S I M ?
can you say W E L F A R E ?
can you say F O O D S T A M P S ?
can you say E N T I T L E M E N T ?
then you can say
N ew
Y ork
R esidents
A gainst
D emocracy
NY is where the poor have no chance and are fed at the troth of socialism and expected to be thankfull for being the spitoons of those who lie and take what is not theirs to keep you below them.
If Cuomo denies us our deeded rights again then the “Term I love NY” will no longer be a statement of pride but a statement whispered into the ear of those who have fracked us.